Year One


Definitive proof that I, while technically an adult, should not be allowed to be an adult.

1. I managed to purchase just an oil change for $74.99.

2. I consumed two dozen Publix cookies in a 4-hour car ride…alone.

3. I have a One Direction calendar hanging in my classroom.

4. I have One Direction posters hanging in my closet (NO JOKES HERE Y’ALL).

5. I ordered the wrong size bed and it took me a week to notice.

6. My freezer contains Tyson’s chicken nuggets and Totino’s pizza rolls.

6b. I have packed said pizza rolls for lunch before.

7. I was recently called out for downloading the apps, “Crazy Hair Salon – Pretty Girl Makeover,” and “My Newborn Baby: Mommy and Baby Care.” Thank you, Katie.

8. My standard dinner ratio is as follows- 0.5 carrot : 1 chicken nugget : 2 Oreos.

9. I refuse to leave the apartment on a Saturday.

9b. The only exception is to go to Cook-Out and purchaseĀ an order of hush puppies and a Cheerwine float.

10. When my first cable bill came, I was so excited about having a real life bill in my own name that I saved it, hole punched it, and put in my “finances,” binder. However, at no point did I pay said bill.


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