“Are you happy?”
The answer is a yes with a very confident question mark at the end.
“Yes? Yeah? I think so?”
They ask if I could do it all over again, if I would still choose TFA. I say yes. I don’t know if I say yes because it’s true or yes because I really want it to be true.
I really want it to be true. I really want to be happy. I tell myself everyday that I am happy and good and great because if I say it and think it, then maybe it’s true. I put on a huge smile every morning when I walk into my classroom, because I know the second I stop, the second I frown, that’s when it all goes to pieces. So, I smile and I pick my chin up and I tell everyone that I am happy and great- because to say that I’m not is a terrifying admission that I’m afraid will swallow me whole. Because at the least, at the least I owe my kids the rest of the year.