Year One

When Students Sext

I’m really nosy. When they text in class, I silently hover over them reading the message, trying to see who they’re texting. This is literally just who I am as a human and I have no excuse.

At Saturday school last weekend I was looking at the pictures on one of my favorites student’s phone. In the middle of scrolling through her selfies, she gets a text from another one of my favorite students. Like the weirdo I am, I open the message and respond to ask why he isn’t at school (because it’s technically mandatory for all my kids). While I wait for his response, I scroll up to read their conversation, because I am very strange person with no self control when it comes to snooping.

“If we were to make love, what would you do? Tell me details. 8-face-throwing-a-kiss

I DIE. That might not be an exact quote because I’m actively trying to forget it. I keep reading, again because I’m a horrible person. I’m going to spare y’all the details, because, yeah. No pictures though, PTL.

I panic. What am I supposed to do now? Do I pretend I didn’t see anything? Do I start screaming? The following is my account of what I did next. In retrospect, I’m pretty proud of myself. I did good. Self-five.

I text him back. “OMG I’m blinded don’t scroll up it’s not rated E for everyone” followed by a dozen of the monkey emoji covering its eyes. He responds with the laughing crying face and I tell him I can’t even and he changes the subject. He’ll get a lecture sometime this week.

However, after an hour of careful thought while the female student worked on ACT review, she got her lecture on Saturday.

I started off with the standard, “there better not be any pictures,” talk, followed by a definition of child pornography, and a promise of deletion. I then led into my real problem with their conversation – not her poor spelling, or the fact that it was happening at 3 a.m., or the aggressive use of emojis – but the fact that he didn’t respond. It took several hours for him to craft the lame “are you sure you’re ready for that” response that he sent. I have MASSIVE anxiety when someone takes more than 20 minutes to respond to a text that only says something dumb like “wanna order pizza”. I can’t imagine what kind of panic would be rushing through my brain if someone took more than 5 minutes to respond to a sext! (really I wouldn’t know as I don’t sext because all of the reasons ever).

So we talked about boys being assholes. I told her stories about boys inviting me to a party at 2 a.m. only to be found talking to another girl the whole time. We talked about booty calls and self esteem and why all boys insist on being douchebags. I promised her that somewhere out there there’s a boy who will make her feel special 24/7, not just for 30 minutes twice a week. I promised her that there was someone who would always respond to her texts. We talked about getting hurt, and how it’s really hard to say no. I got to use one of my favorite quotes from Perks of Being a Wallflower! I told her she could text me anytime and I would respond. I told her I thought she deserved better. I hope I helped.

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